Lazy Blogger

Pardes

2010-08-06T05:16:00.004+05:30

Its been a month, I have moved out of Hyderabad, well not for good, but yes surely for some time. In IT parlance am in a long term onsite assignment. So am here in South California in the lovely city of San Diego, and its been more than a month. I have been here before, but those were all short term, maximum being couple of months so this was different.

Firstly, there was a whole lot of convincing to be done at home, yes my wife doesn’t like the option of being away from me. (I know am irresistible) It was a career shift, so it was in the pipeline for sometime and we both ignored it, till it came upon us. And then we decided to chug along the master plan of LIFE.

Shifting is a big job, first you need to pack all your stuff somehow into those huge bags which have to weigh exactly 26 kilograms each unless you want to burn a hole in your pocket paying for excess luggage. You need to carry some basic cooking stuff, at-least that’s the norm and who am I to challenge the norm. You have to meet and say bye to all people and friends, coz you never know when you would meet them again as the stay is not pre-defined.

Coming to how stuff works here, no am still not an expert but its just a list down on stuff the way they were thrown to me.

You cant do anything here unless you have a Social Security
Everyone wants to sell you stuff but no one would unless you have a credit score. And you won’t have a credit score unless you take a loan and pay it back and no zero credit isn’t a good thing down here.
You can work your way around by paying lot of security deposits, which was taken care of by my benevolent colleagues here.
Paying by cash is looked down upon.
Temperatures and distances are in Fahrenheit and Miles. So when people ask you whats the temperature back their in your place, you got to do C/5= (F-32)/9 in your mind before you can answer. Well 105 is a safe answer unless you stay in Shimla or Kashmir.
No one knows what a lakh is? Or for that matter ladies finger and brinjal. And I thought they were English words.
You buy most of your stuff second hand, from random people looking up craiglist. ( This website has been a great blessing)
There are no tube-lights or ceiling fans in any of the houses(Ok any of the houses I have seen).
Saving paper is over-rated. On one side they try to save it, and on the other they use it for everything and you know where am getting it.
Any activity on the cell phone is charged, there are no freebies.
Your post box is spammed with promotional mails.
Wine shops are bigger and better than the most of the shopping malls back there in India. You are spoilt with choice.
Offers are there round the clock 365 days a year. There is no fixed price for any product, different outlets offer different prices, so buy and then don’t ask anyone else how much they bought it for.
You get to celebrate your b’day, twice in a year, one when your family and friends back in India wish you, and then the actual day here in the US. :)

Well this list will go on as I would keep discovering new things about this place. Settling down in a new place hasn’t been new to me and I can adjust pretty easily. I have stayed at so many places with people coming from varied backgrounds that I can easily get along. Still I miss India and home, not to say my lovely wife and all you wonderful friends. Internet and Vonage are the only things apart from the free flowing beer and wine that is keeping me going.

Watch this space for more.

Nicknames

2010-07-20T13:00:00.001+05:30

They can be cute, funny and some times dreaded too. But surely at some point of time you are associated with one and then it remains with you for a good period of your life and in some cases your life time, and in some avoidable cases it becomes your identity for the rest of your life.

This blog post is not about the cute lovey dovey ones, that either our parents or loved ones give us, but the ones that become our identity more so when we are in a hostel environment. Cant blame the people when so many people co exists creativity flows and in most cases ends up in a dreaded unmentionable nickname.

I have had the unenviable distinction of being on the receiving end during my four years of Engineering. How that name got stuck and how it became my identity isn’t something I would be letting you guys know. I have always hated that nickname, so don’t expect any juicy tidbits there. And yes my frnds who would walk by this post would surely post that am quite sure of that.

So I had a nickname, no it didn’t end at that, it became my identity, even to the extent that my frnds parents would refer to me (thank god in my absence) by that name. Cant blame them.

I tried various strategies to shrug off the name, that my friend leaked out one day in the dining hall and which then went on to become my identity, from seniors to juniors all knew me by that name. I would assume the proffessors dint know or atleast had the courtesy not to call me by that name. That I was mostly bunking lectures might have worked out in my favour.

I was just thinking of the various ways one could nip such avoidable nicknames in the bud. If you get irritated then they obviously like it and they keep calling you. You cant pick up a fight with 400 of them.. Impossible!! If you play along, then they think you like it anyways so they call you anyways. You cant ignore them, coz you meet them everywhere. Living four years away from family they were like an extended family themselves.

Much as I hate my nickname, but I love all the wonderful memories that comes along with it and the wonderful friends I made in those four years. But I still hate it when I have to introduce myself to my some long lost friend of mine over the phone, by my nickname. But then thats life..

But how do you shrug off a nickname, food for thought, if you have any pointers, you know where to write.

2010 Updates

2010-05-25T01:03:00.007+05:30

Five months have passed this year, and am still living under the excuse of being too busy for ignoring my blog. Also my new addiction has to be blamed for the long absence. So finally when I logged in and saw that the last post was in November 2009, I immediately decided to post one right now.
So this isnt about any pcl tag, or any pcl issue, this is just my life in general. People expecting juicy tidbits would be disappointed and hence may leave now(Dont tell me I didnt warn you guys)
Ever since I have been on the new project, life has gone for a toss, first casualty being my gym. From being a regular, I hardly can recollect the last time I saw my gym. My sneakers and clothes are still in the locker( I sincerely hope this is the case)
Funny how things change, I was always waiting for one big project, since it was sometime, I was into one, and was really getting desperate and one lands right away, and now I dont have anything in my life other than that. Working late nights, exchanging hi's and hello's with my wife over the phone or in person during weekends has become the norm. Working weekends, long meetings conference calls and unlimited coffees and teas interspersed with long email chains has become a routine.
The only person who is very happy with all this is my Dad. My Dad being a workaholic, thinks its great that I have a lot of work. Being a hard working Public servant, he sees it as a good sign that the company is doing well and am getting numerous opportunities. My wife has her share of complains, but is now okay that I took a full day off and we both treated ourselves to a luxurious holiday to celebrate my second marriage anniversary. ( Yes guys!! you need to celebrate certain mistakes inorder to avoid repercussions).
Well wont bore you all with the steady monologue, so presenting in points form the highs and lows of the year so far for moi..

Celebrated the new year with a large family gathering with a trip to Ooty, Coonoor and Neliyampathy. ( for pics pls lookup my orkut profile here)
One of my best friends got married, was the witness for the marriage. (Wish them all love and luck)
Travelled to California for 45 days, was a lovely trip, with the august company of project mates and lots of wine and beer. ( Managed to put on 4 kgs in this trip)
Came back to open arms of my wife, my house and my lovely city Hyderabad to face the hot and humid summer ( This is really some change)
Some interesting career move happening(more on this later, most of you already know)
Two yrs of a bitter sweet love filled marriage completed. Love my wife for being with me and most importantly bearing me. (Looking forward to many many more sweet memories)
Got hooked on to Twitter. Follow me here www.twitter.com/sreejitsh

Missed a few close friends marriages thanks to this very hectic schedule, havent called and spoken to a lot of them. But the primary priority right nw is a trip to Kerala to visit parents. Leaves are a distinct possibility so just waiting for the appropriate time.

Hopefully would post more often and next time better ones..

Thanks for reading... and awaiting the comments...

26/11 -The Anniversary

2009-11-30T17:37:00.000+05:30

Finally the much awaited anniversary is over. So what did we do on that big day.
Some news channels re-visited the horrific scenes, some others called upon a panel to discuss the anniversary. Some others made available graffiti or poster where citizens could write some messages and feel patriotic and proud. Some famous patrons assembled themselves at the Gateway of India, while others were content giving interviews about the so called spirit of Mumbai and how guests have started pouring into the Taj or for that matter the Leopold Café.

If one were to believe the unofficial reports we spend about 31 crores a year to keep Kasab in jail. And the trial keeps going on and on. Just today his lawyer was sacked. Now we would spend another 2 months finalizing his replacement.
I thought the entire world saw him brandishing his AK 47. He even confessed to his crime. What more do you want to pronounce him guilty? How many more dossiers do we need to send to Pakistan. Or are we waiting for Uncle Sam to tell us Kasab is guilty.

I will tell you my idea of the anniversary, hang Kasab by the neck in full public view. Send his body and that of the other 9 slain terrorists to Pakistan and if they refuse give them a burial here. And to double the extravaganza hang Afzal Guru as well. Well, I hope people still remember his name. Because public memory is very short-lived, otherwise how could RR Patil be re-elected as the home-minister of Maharashtra within a year?

And all those people thinking am a blood thirsty, eye for an eye kind of a heartless guy, I give a damn. If anyone attacks your home, would you keep quiet. Will your reaction be the same? Why are we so not bothered? And if you call that the spirit of Mumbai then God damn you. Its just a selfish attitude. As long as it doesn’t affect me and my relatives and friends I live under the so called spirit of Mumbai.

I feel pity for the martyrs like Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan who laid down their lives fighting the enemy coz, the state and the elected leaders are their biggest enemies.
So carry on writing grafitis and feel proud about it.

Adieu my dear friend!!

2009-10-27T01:41:00.002+05:30

Its been more than a month, there has been so many attempts, but nothing saw the light of the day, nothing that I write can bring out the grief and the hollowness your loss has caused to us. It all still feels like some cruel joke, some kind of a bad dream. When I first heard it, I couldnt believe it. Someone who was always smiling, cracking his share of PJs, so full of life is suddenly no more.

Couldnt the truck driver, stop and rush you to some hospital? Couldnt the cop, instead of chasing the truck have attended to you? Couldnt the first hospital admit you? Couldnt the so called noble profession save you eventually? Couldnt you fight death a little longer? How can God even think about it? Is there really someone up there? This cannot be, how can you do this, like this fellow had his entire life infront of him. He was just 27.

Death as they say is a great leveller, we are all happy and proud one day, thinking of our achievements, sharing so many emotions thinking we rule this world, and then something like this comes up and you cannot do anything, you are bloody helpless. You feel like a loser. Yes thats exactly how am feeling all this while. Someone snatched you away from us, and we couldnt do anything. We just couldnt do anything.

I dont know if there is after life? But I want to believe in it. Coz I want to meet you, tell you how sorry Iam, how much we all miss you. Tell you that just one day before this fateful event, me and Sujith wanted to call you, but then we thought we would call you later. That day never came, the next day brought with it the sad news of your death.

I couldnt come and even see you one last time. I couldnt, I did not want to see you in that state, for me you could never be like that. The image I have of you is captured in my mind. Its your smiling face and no power on mother earth can wipe that out. Thats how I want to remember you. I want to remember all the lovely time we spent during the four years we were in college and the numerous times we met after college and ended up sloshed and called each other names.
I want to remember, the card games we used to play bunking lectures, us ragging the poor first years, us collecting money from hostel to arrange booze, the numerous rides on your bike, the nights when we burnt midnight oil preparing for exams, the Mohan Lal movies we saw, fighting our lives for the tickets,our final year dance performance, our copying assignments, your last ball six which won us the match against the Civil Team, and many many more moments worth their weight in gold.

As friends I never got the chance to tell you, how special you were, how lucky I was to be your friend. As time passes the angst will lessen, the injuries will heal, but your loss will always be felt.
I will meet you one day, then we will again pull each others legs, call each other names drunk and beyond making any sense, but this time I will surely tell you Vijesh how much I love you and that you have been more than a friend to me.
Wherever you are, always be happy and be smiling. As for us we will continue to miss you.
A bereaved friend.

PS: Vijesh met with an accident last month, on his way back from office near Marthalli Bangalore, where a truck went over him. He lay on the road bleeding for an hour before being taken to a hospital, where they refused to admit him, and by the time they rushed him to another, he was no more. Thus destiny snatched from us our friend, from a young boy his brother and from two proud parents their elder son.

ABC Tag

2009-10-19T14:21:00.003+05:30

I have been awfully lazy, and been suffering from bloggers' block(coined by myself). I have had several half written posts, which were deleted after some time. Finally my new found blogger friend Moo helped me with another tag. Its called the ABC Tag. Why? Find out for yourself.

1) A – Available/Single?
Available this week, my wife is out of town.. :P
2) B – Best friend?
Bob, Susmi, Kiran, Sujith, Ranjith, Vijesh, Sankar, Prasanth, Sachin, Arnab, Alok, Bhanu, Anju, Sumeets(there are two of them), Ajay and the list goes on…
3) C – Cake or Pie?
Black Forest cake or Pastry anything would do.
4) D – Drink of choice?
BEER, anytime, anywhere, any brand would do, but if given a choice, Guinness would be preferred.
5) E – Essential item you use every day?
Bare essentials(Read chuddies), Contact lenses, watch, wallet.
6) F – Favorite colour?
Blue and Black (Not the colour u get after an injury).
7) G – Gummy Bears Or Worms?
I want to use ‘phone a friend’ option.
8) H – Hometown?
Palakkad, Kerala
9) I – Indulgence?
Any form of alcohol.
10) J – January or February?
July, yours truly was born on that month.
11) K – Kids & their names?
Abhi abhi to shaadi huyee hain yaar, kyon watt laga raha hain..
12) L – Life is incomplete without?
Being able to do the things I want to.
13) M – Marriage date?
18th May.
14) N – Name? Your real name!!
If you still don’t know my name, then you are the dumbest person, and you cant be reading my blog.
15) O – Oranges or Apples?
Neither, Mangoes for me.
16) P – Phobias/Fears?
Nothing in particular, am the next Kathron ke Khiladi host…May be we can include the Giant wheel in this. I don’t know if there is a phobia for it.
17) Q – Quote for today?
I hate Mondays!!
18) R – Reason to smile?
Talking to loved ones, spending time with them. Coming home and drinking hot cup of tea/coffee.
19) S – Season?
Winters in India
20) T – Tag 3 People?
Anju, Shabbu and Arnab
21) U – Unknown fact about me?
I love shopping and can spend hours checking out things.
22) V – Vegetable you don’t like?
Raw Papaya.
23) W – Worst habit?
Getting up horrible late everyday
24) X – X-rays?
Twice, both times for my broken wrist.
25) Y – Your favorite food?
Ghar ka khana, daal chaval and aloo ki sabzi.
26) Z – Zodiac sign?
LEO, koi shak!! WTF!!

Tees sawal tees jawab!!

2009-06-13T21:38:00.006+05:30

I am tagged again by Moo and it was a fun tag to begin with. Hope you have as much fun reading it like I had in posting it.

1) When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Hmmm!! I need a Shave
2) How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
Rs 382
3) What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
BORE, Funny no one who took this tag before me thought about it, may be because that’s what am feeling right now.
4) Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Bob, my best friend since school and now my neighbour, isn’t that great!!
5) What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Nokia ring tone, that’s the only decent one that my phone comes with. It’s a very high end mobile.
6) What are you wearing right now?
Shorts and Tee
7) Do you label yourself?

Some times yes
8) Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?
Rockport and Adidas
9) Bright or Dark Room?
Dark room when am sleeping, otherwise a bright room.
10) What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
A very interesting and spontaneous person with zero pretence and a very good blogger.
11) What does your watch look like?
It’s Cruiser,with a White dial and Stainless steel Strap, gifted by my bestest buddy bro Shyam. I simply love my watch.
12) What were you doing at midnight last night?
Enjoying my drink with Bob on the terrace of our flat.
13) What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Balance in your account number XXXXXXX is Rs32.65. You can withdraw upto Rs32.65. (Believe me I have been tempted to withdraw Rs32.65, but darn the ATM doesn’t disburse cash less than Rs 100)
14) What’s a word that you say a lot?
SHIT
15) Who told you he/she loved you last?
My loving wife.
16) Last furry thing you touched?
My wife’s soft toy
17) Favourite age you have been so far?
Hmmmm that’s difficult to say, I have loved all the ages I have lived so far, basically I have had a good life.
18) What was the last thing you said to someone?
Don’t disturb me, am try to blog something( To my wife)
19) The last song you listened to?
Truly, Madly, Deeply ( Savage Garden)
20) Where did you live in 1987?
Kolkata
21) Are you jealous of anyone?
At present of Cristiano Ronaldo
22) Is anyone jealous of you?
Don’t know, couldn’t care less.
23) Name three things that you have on you at all times?
My watch, my contact lenses and my wedding ring.
24) What’s your favourite town/city?
This is difficult, it’s a close tie between Mumbai and Hyderabad.
25) When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Hmm I guess, it was in 2000
26) Can you change the oil on a car?
No.
27) Your first love/big crush: What is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That She was Sorry!!
28) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
No.
29) What is your current desktop picture?
Bunch of tulips
30) Have you been burnt by love?
In a way Yes,

Phew, when I started doing this, I thought it would be pretty simple, but it was pretty tough and I know it doesn't make a good reading but then its my blog, I write what I want to, you can do the same in the comments section.

I tag Anju and Shabbu.

Seedhi Baat No Bakwass

2009-05-24T17:33:00.003+05:30

One of my best friend Ajay got married and in my busy schedule I couldnt make a trip to attend his wedding. So I thought of making it up by calling and wishing him the next day.
I was on my way back from office, and I dial in his number, and an automated voice at the other end greets me "Tata Indicom ki taraf se aap sabko swatantra diwas ki haardik subhkaamnayein, aap jis Tata Indicom upbhogta se sampark karna chahte hain, woh is samay vyast hain, kripiya line par rahiye ya fir baad main koshish kijiye"(Tata Indicom wishes u a happy Independance day, the Tata Indicom subscriber u are trying to reach is presently busy, please hold the line or call again later) I was shocked, I couldnt belive my ears, this was May, and the voice was wishing me a happy Independance day, three months well in advance. I thought there must be some mistake and I dial again, and the result is the same.
There after I tried calling this friend of mine some 15 odd times, on different days and on most times, he was out of network coverage or lines on that direction were busy. Thank God I was spared of the 'Swatantra Divas shit'.

I hope all you ppl in the past month or so have come across the ad campaign for Tata Indicom, where in they take on all other network providers and claim to have the most superior mobile network coverage( The Hello Hello ad). I was seeing the ad today and I thought, the ad made such a mockery of itself. If there was any subscriber who would be so used to saying 'Hello' Hello' it would most probably be a Tata Indicom subscriber and hence the post.

Well talking about ad campaigns mocking themselves, I just couldnt help myself, but include the Sprite Kolkata Knight Riders ad campaign. ( For the uninformed KKR are at the pit of the IPL losing 11 of its 14 matches) In that particular ad, a guy has a battalion of mean looking men and SRK comes out of the blue and asks him:
SRK: Yeh sab kis liye?
Guy: Opposition ko harane ke liye darana padhta hain Sir.
SRK:(Pointing towards the players of KKR) To phir yeh sab kis liye?
Guy: Opposition ko harane ke liye Sir.
SRK:Seedhi Baat No Bakwass Clear Hain!!
Guy: Yes Sir.
This ad used to come at all situations when the KKR would have dished out another of their uninspiring, disappointing performance and would be staring at defeat. And ad would be such a slap on the face.
Some ads really backfire, but any discussion on ads cannot be complete without talking about Zoozoo's who have taken the entire country by storm by such a innovative style of marketing the products.
But for those dumb ads one wouldnt appreciate the good ones.

Comments welcome!!

Jab Aap Soyenge To India Kaise Jagegi??

2009-04-21T18:34:00.001+05:30

I was pretty excited about April 16th. I would finally be able to exercise my franchise. I had only voted before in College elections. For that matter I was the polling agent representing one of the Student parties. But this was the first time I was going to vote for a Parliamentary election process. Doubling up the joy was here in Andhra Pradesh the Assembly elections were also on the same time. I was pretty excited that I was going to play a very tiny minuscule role in the selection/election of the next Prime Minister of India and the next Chief Minister of AP.

My voter Id card was made a year ago, and it still had my old address which meant that my polling booth was 22kms away from my home. And since it was peak summer and a forced holiday I wouldn’t have set out of my house for anything else, but this was something, nothing could hold me back from executing.

Now, this was the first time I was voting and I am a complete novice to as to how the entire process works. Like the college elections were pretty different, there were only 2 options and you knew the candidates personally and there wasn’t much significance either.

Now about whom to vote for in the Parliament it was an easy decision and people who really know me, would need no hints to know where my allegiances lie. But for the assembly segment, I wasn’t too sure. I did discuss with a couple of my colleagues and then in the larger interest of the state finally decided the party for whom I would cast my vote. More so because it was in alliance with the other party for which I would normally have voted.

I arrived at the Polling Booth, supposedly a High School with my friend Sumeet at about noon time. The dilapidated building had some nine rooms ( I cannot call them classrooms), broken benches, blackboards filled with cobwebs and fans, which creaked continuously.

A single Policeman was manning the entire Booth and there were hardly about 20 odd people waiting to cast their votes. I noticed except the two of us all the other prospective voters had a slip, which mentioned their name and polling booth details, while I clutched my prized voter card. I prodded my friend who went and asked whether that slip was also necessary and if yes, where to obtain the same. Much to my relief, the official told us that, the Voter id card was sufficient.

While waiting for our turn, we were analyzing the people in the queue before us, and trying to guess whom they would vote for. In about half an hour my turn came, and as I presented my Id, they validated the same and asked me to proceed to the booth.

On a table covered by cartons on three sides was the EVM. There were two such tables, one for the Lok Sabha and the other for the Assembly. I was soon done with casting my vote for the LS and I proceeded to the Assembly segment, that’s when I noticed that, the EVMs had only the name of the Candidate and his party’s symbol.

Now since I had thought of voting for a regional party, and was so sure that the EVM would contain the name of the party that I did not even bother to check the name of the candidates, and as it turned out to be I did not even remember the symbol. (Talk about being an informed young generation voter).

So here I was trying to guess the name of the person, and I tried to recollect the various posters and graffiti outside to remember the name unsuccessfully. Finally, I did something that I knew would improve my chances, I tried to eliminate the choices. Having written so many competitive exams which had multiple choices, I was good at something they called the intelligent guess. This worked on the principle of elimination of choices.

Now in a competitive exam, you have four maximum five options, here there were fifteen. Finally, the impatient that I am, I zeroed in on one and pressed my thumb to caste the vote in his favour.

As soon as I came out, I looked at the notice board which had the names of all the candidates with the party name and symbol and I was thrilled to note that, I had managed to give my vote to the right candidate.

So that was my first experience at voting. Even though in my excitement and eagerness I almost goofed up, I still am proud of myself that I was one of the 60 odd percentage of people who went and cast their vote and did their bit for the Country.

The only disappointment I have is that I have to wait for another five years to go through this entire exercise again.

Tagged

2009-04-21T01:52:00.002+05:30

I have been real lazy and have not been updating my blog for quite sometime. As some of you must have noticed, I have even broken my resolution of a post per month.
Anyways I was following some blogs during this period and as a result of tags from The White Phoenix and Whiny the Moo I couldn’t keep away from my blog for long.

This was the first time I was getting tagged and what appeared to be easy turned out to be pretty tough. I racked my brains and what followed may not be great, but then that’s the best I managed right now.

Is the number of lives we all have, so live it to the fullest, at least that what I believe in doing.
Is the number of attempts I took to clear my Thermal Engineering Lab.
Is my favorite number, Don’t have any specific reason, just that I seem to like this number a lot since my childhood.
Is the number of Cities in which I have pursued my education(Kolkata, Mumbai, Palakkad and Pune).
Is the number of wrist watches I have (I wish to add on to this, I freak out on wrist watches and sunglasses).
Is the time by which I usually leave office, irrespective of whether my work for the day is done or not.
Is the number of letters in my name and for that matter even my surname.
Is the number of hours I need to sleep each night.
Is the number of maternal uncles and aunties I have.
Is my shoe size. Well, nothing else was significant enough to associate with the number 10.

I tag Anju and Arnav.

And people better post some comments.

Jai Ho!!

2009-02-24T02:15:00.008+05:30

So much is being said/written about Slumdog Millionaire so I didn't want to left behind and as you all can see the deadline is fast approaching(Atleast one post per month), so why no take a dig at the most discussed topic after Kasav and Ramalinga Raju.

As I write Rahman has already won two Oscars and a 'little known before' Rasool Pookutty from God's Own Country(I also play the regional card once in a while) added one to his belt. And the 24 hour TV channels are showing their acceptance speeches ever since. So much so that every kid who is exposed to the Idiot Box knows the speech by heart and also knows that India is proud for some reason.

We have had mixed response for the movie with some liking it very very much(dont know how many switched sides after the Oscar glory) and the others bashing it. Lets take a look at what the critics of the movie said: they labelled it as a 'Poverty Porn', 'India shown in poor light','India has much more than the slums' 'This film degrades India' 'This is getting all the notice just because a westerner made it' etc etc.

So much so that some bigwigs of the Indian Film Industry started bashing the movie even before it got released in India. And adding on some statistics the Hindi and English versions of the movie did not do good in India in terms of financial numbers. I will tell you one the main reason, because it was available on everybody's thumb drives.Pirated copies of the movie was available everywhere. And it did not cater to the otherwise dumb Indian audience, it did not have edge of the seat action sequences. The protagonist gets beaten up, his girl gets stolen and all he does is go back to his normal life and participate in some quiz contest. There were no item numbers. The hero heroines werent well known and they wore pretty disgusting costumes throughout the movie. And the movie had no real songs. Such a dampener for the teeming populace which hits the movie hall every day, expecting some masala for three hours, so that he can forget the bad bad world outside;his own miseries and enjoy the money he has spent on the film ticket. It should have lots of emotional stuff like hero bashing up all the ones who comes his way, stealing his girl, dancing and singing like never before on every given opportunity, some skin show,and lived happily ever after climax.

Well this is my take on the movie, it was a good movie, its certainly not the best and I wouldnt compare it to other Oscar Winners like a Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind or the Million Dollar Baby etc. It was different, the topic was different, it was about Mumbai, the financial capital of India,one of the fastest growing economies of the world which also unfortunately houses one of the largest slums by the name of Dharavi. It showcases much more than mere poverty, it outlines the optimism, it also shows that Mumbai has developed and that the slums are now replaced by huge multifloored apartments.

So what made the movie a winner? To name a few, the movie has been shot brilliantly and the performances by the kids are a revelation. It captures the India which how much ever we may deny exists. The music by AR Rahman has been a masterpiece for over a decade now and to think that this in many ways is not his best music, is to understand that the talent we have in our midst. The movie showcases 'HOPE' the new buzzword in town, the buzzword that catapulted Obama to the reigns of power in the US. The word that keeps us all going in these troubled times. The recession and all the gloom thats prevailing, everyone could identify himself with Jamal, the hardships he undergoes(albeit it may be in a different in everyones life) and could appreciate the way he comes up trumps finally because of the experiences he gained during these hardtimes and due to dame luck and how he reclaims his love and fame.

Why dont we realise that there is so much in the movie thats Indian apart from the actors and background? It has a familiar Bollywood movie theme, boy meets girl, they fall in love, they get separated and years later they meet and reclaim each other, there is also a song and dance sequence at the end of the movie. Half the movie is in Hindi. May be its just the case of sour grapes.

And as to the argument that we wouldnt have won the Oscar or the recognition if any Indian movie director had made this movie, I have only this to say, we couldnt have made such a movie. We were bound to put in some unwanted masala somewhere in our bid to cater to the Bollywood audience and this is where lies Boyle's winning formula. He adapted a Indian story written by an Indian, shot it in the locales of India, acted by a hoarde of Indian actors but keeping in mind the audience of the West and hence the accolades.

100 plus awards is no mean achievement and here is my thumbs up to the entire cast and crew of Slumdog Millionaire. Hope we finally utilise our potential and make movies keeping in mind the World Audience.

Re-Solution

2009-01-13T18:32:00.002+05:30

A Very Happy New Year…

I know its already 13 days down, but as they say better late than never, so here am finally penning down a post as well as wishing all the readers and the people in general a very successful, healthy, joyful, love-filled year ahead.

There were so many things to write about, in the last few months, but laziness ruled the roost as I ended up postponing and never came up with anything.

New Year comes with lot of partying, celebrations, booze, and of course the most fragile thing in this world “New Year Resolutions”.

They say the best way to ensure that you keep your resolutions is that you discuss it with the people around you so that you feel ashamed that you haven’t kept your word.

Well, there are so many thick skinned people in this world and if people can’t break the promises they make to themselves, then the world would not be such a imperfect and happening place to live in.

Anyways I haven’t really made any resolutions as such for the sake of the new year, but this year I want to make some resolutions and I want to keep them as well, so I thought of making it publicly available to the entire world wide web, so that whenever people meet me am egged on to keep my promises to myself and life in general.

So here are my resolutions for this year:

Be regular on the blog, with at least one posting a month.
Be regular to the gym.
Visit at least two new places for vacations.
Try and keep in touch with friends more often at least one call per month.
Learn one musical instrument (Guitar will win this hands down).
Try and reduce my shopping spree(and that of my wife's too :) )
Improve my reading habits by reading more books.

Phew, at least that will set some things in my life in order. I have tried and made sure that each one of the resolutions are not too optimistic. With a little effort things should go through.

How successful I am in keeping them, well that only time will tell, but at least I have taken the first step forward. And as they say a good beginning is like a task half done.

Random Thoughts!!

2008-08-27T17:22:00.000+05:30

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do” says Mark Twain in his story, ‘The Adventures of Tom Sawyer’.
Coming to think of it, those two sentences hold one of the fundamental principles of success and joy in life.

Why do we sulk when our parents ask us to study and why don’t we even battle an eyelid when it comes to sweating it out in the sun playing games? Why such different terminology of ‘Work’ and ‘Play’?

Leaving physics aside, work can be commonly be defined as the amount of effort involved or in other terms the measure of physical, mental, or emotional energy they will have to spend to perform the same. Don’t we do the same thing while playing? Which is that one game that doesn’t require you to exert physically/mentally/emotionally? I cant think of any. Then why different terminologies?

This perhaps stems from our very approach to it. Anything that we love doing, is termed as play, while anything that we are forced to do we see it as work. Hence we have terms like homework, and class work. No one teaches us to play. We do it because we get pleasure out of it. That’s the way we unwind, that’s the way we get to do things our way.
What Mark Twain conveyed to us through that story was, that if you do something, that you want to do, that you are interested in doing, then its play, and if you are doing it because someone’s asked you to, or you are being coerced to, then its work. And blessed is the man, who has made his work his play. And life is a sempiternal quest to strike the right balance.

So where does that lead us, all of us work to earn a lively hood, how many of us are working because we enjoy what we are doing and how many of us are working because it’s a mode of steady income, it’s a social symbol and the likes. I don’t want to hazard a guess, but I have this feeling that, there are very less people who have been able to find the occupation that they wanted to do all their life, something that brings the best out of them each day, each hour. Something that gives wings to their passion, ignite their dreams. For them work is never about money, about recognition and the likes, for them it’s a sense of satisfaction of being able to do what they love day in and out, like a kid being allowed to play cricket(you can imagine your favourite sport) all day.

As to why this kind of a topic in my blog, well, I was thinking the other day, about the term job satisfaction and what does that mean to me. After some introspection, I realized that the one thing that gives me satisfaction at the end of the day is the money and recognition. I then slipped into a mode where I dug through the annals of my mind to find out, was it really what I wanted to do. Is this the one thing that excites me? Alas the answer was ‘No’.

I then posed the same question to a couple of close friends and after tittle-tattle they too agreed that, they weren’t also living their passion. And that perhaps is one of the main reasons to the question we keep asking our fellow country men after each and every Olympics. A country of over a billion and all that we have to show for is 3 medals and this too is our best performance.

We all want our country men to do well in their chosen arena of sports. But we wouldn’t encourage our own wards to take up sports as a career, the only exception being cricket.
Very less parents encourage their children to try alternate professions. We are always known to play it safe. How many children are forced to give up, their passions of singing/music/painting etc as they move ahead to high school under the tutelage of their parents and well wishers. They would often tell you,
“This is the best time to study; you can do all that the rest of your life”

We measure the success of a person by the amount his bank account swells at the end of every calendar month.

This alas, is the bitter truth and am a prey to this as well and so are so many of you.
There is just this one life we have, we should live it to the fullest, we should chase our dreams and work (play) hard to fulfill them. I have made up my mind and am going to give wings to my passion and live my dream. .

So what do you want to do? Work or Play.

The choice is yours….

Short Cut

2008-02-28T14:42:00.005+05:30

Jay took another swig from his cigarette. Quite oblivious of the “No Smoking” board beneath which he was sitting. Being the single soul present there at that unholy hour, there wasn't anyone who was complaining, and even if some one did bother Jay did not give it a damn anyways. He was fully drenched, and every swig he took added to some warmth to his body as the hot smoke filled his lungs and were exhaled through his nostrils.
The white shirt, clung on to his well chiseled upper torso. His black striped tie was loosely dangling from his shirt collar. He was firmly perched on the wooden bench outside the general ward of the hospital. Here he needn't bear the brunt of the terrible weather. And all he needed is some place where he could be all by himself.
Water was dripping from all over his body. He was now shivering as the wind blew as if to torment him more. Jay looked at his watch adorned wrist, it seemed to him as time wasn’t moving at all. He tried not to, but still his mind made him go through the events since this fateful morning.

It began for him like any other day. He was as usual woken up, to the rich aroma of his bed coffee to which he was now accustomed over the four years. Neha as usual reminded him that he better wake up now or would get late for office. He pushed his head under the pillow begging for another five minutes. And she told him that she wont re-heat the coffee, so he had a choice to either return to the lap of mother sleep and forgo his morning coffee, or drink that sinful beverage, and be forced to part with sleep. He chose the former.

When Neha returned after dropping Sanju to school, she found him still sleeping, she looked at the wall clock and shook her head in disbelief. “Jay YOU ARE STILL SLEEPING!”

As it turned out to be, the five minutes had stretched past several multiples of five. Jay woke up, his eyes wide open now. He rushed to the open bathroom, did things as fast as he possibly could yet, couldn’t make up for the lost time. He had an important meeting with a client, which even his Boss was attending, and as time for appraisals was nearing he did not want to mess up on anything. And things were not very rosy in office either. Two of his colleagues had been handed the pink slip in the recent months. And this particular client wasn't exactly helpful either. Clients are never helpful though. They create as much noise as they can and can be quite a pain sometimes, but one couldn’t ignore the fact, that they were the reason why our accounts swelled at the end of every calendar month.

He rushed out, kissing Neha’s forehead as ran past the door, his sandwich in one hand the car keys in the other. It was raining relentlessly. The natures’ fury made sure that the roads resembled streams of muddy water, cleverly hiding the bumpers and puddles. Well given the conditions it was difficult to say whether the roads were punctuated by puddles or was it the other way around. They say India is improving and its growing and shining, but the tax payer never found benefit for the taxes he paid every year, the conditions of the roads, the public transport and other things on which his existence depended never improved enough to justify his incremented taxes every year.

He started the car, and took it out on to the open road. The wipers of his car were furiously removing the water from his front pane. He was hoping that some how either his client or his Boss better both get delayed as well for the meeting. But he himself knew that it was impossible as hoping to see bright sunshine in this weather. It being the office timing, the traffic was no less. He swiveled, cursing every other red signal that came his way. He mumbled choicest abuses at fellow passengers who were either not maintaining their lane or were too slow. The clock was ticking and with each passing minute he was getting late and that was making him more frustrated and irritable.

As he lunged past another of the many turns that he took every day to his apostle of work, he was behind another serpentine traffic blockade. He then did something which he could say was the turning point of events. He decided to take the narrow short cut, which would lead him to his office. The roads were very narrow and even in the best weather avoidable. But given the circumstances Jay turned a blind eye towards those eventualities. He swerved his car towards that narrow lane, only to be greeted by a pool of water being splurged onto his window pane by an on coming vehicle. Nonchalantly he waded through the water logged street. He meandered through the road keeping his foot pressed hard against the accelerator pedal all the time. And then out of no where, he sprang. And before Jay could react, he was thrown away by the enormous impact of the steel.

The narrow lanes were bordered on both sides by slums and had many an urchins. This guy was apparently enjoying floating some paper made boats in the water logged streets and then apparently for no reason, as kids are supposed to be, ran on to the other side of the road not realizing that one Mr. Jay was getting late to office and was driving at maddening speed. All it took was one split second, and then he was rendered air borne and when he landed he was knocked out cold.

The main road and his office were just in sight, when Jay slammed the brakes hard. The machine quite furious by all the adverse things it were subjected upon chose to protest. The momentum made immediate stop impossible and he lost control and rammed an electric post, mangling the front part of his car. But that was not his immediate worry. He was worried about the little boy. The sound of the impact was loud enough to get the local people sprung into action. The weather wasn’t a deterrent, as very soon a crowd managed to surround a visibly shaken Jay. People had just started manhandling the Executive of the envious MNC when a police van came along.

A tobacco chewing constable, immediately saw an opportunity for added incentive to the meager Government salary he drew every month, and intervened and pulled Jay into the van.

For some minutes Jay did not know what all was happening. He kept telling himself, that this was some terrible nightmare he was having and very soon he would wake up to the sweet voice of Neha and the rich aroma of coffee. But the thick scent of the tobacco chewing policeman shook him back to reality. He was taken to the nearby police station. More than his meeting, his sorry state of affairs, he was more concerned for that little kid, who was the victim of his erroneous driving.

He was made to sit, in the aluminum foldable chair in the police station, where everyone, including the inmates looked at him as if he was some alien. They could be pardoned, for it was some time, since they had last seen a man, well dressed, in a resplendent white shirt, and neatly tied tie, matching trousers and shining shoes sitting in the Police Station for so long.

His mobile phone and his personal belongings were soon taken from him, due to which he couldn’t inform anyone, of his sorry plight. His mind raced back to the split second, when he saw a kid dash out of nowhere only to be sprung high into the air and land with a loud thud some distance from the point of impact. His mind was only occupied thinking about the kid. He was almost of the same age of Sanju. “Oh! God what have I done”, he thought. The mere thought of something like this happening to his own son, moved him to tears. He wasn’t particularly religious, but he hid his face in his palms and summoned all the benevolent powers to bless the young life.

Several police personnel came, jeered at him, abused him, threatened him and finally when they got bored of all this, gave him two options. He could both part with his money and arrange for some more using the Debit card, or have a case registered against him and spend the night in prison. The entire day, he saw the constable making endless calls to his relatives down in his native village and discussing mundane topics. The stingy room in the Police station was stifling him. He wanted to get out at any cost. He promptly agreed to give them money or bribe in better words.

One thing that hadn’t changed since morning was the terrible weather, it continued to pour. The Police Constable was kind enough to give him a lift to the near by ATM. Once he had made sure his greed was met, he let him go. Thanks to all those phone calls and poor network due to bad weather, his mobile battery breathed its last, atleast for the time being. He only asked one favour from the Police constable in return for all the generosity, he asked him, if he had any idea about the little toddler. Call it gratitude or humanity, the constable told him the address of the General Hospital where the kid was admitted. He also advised him not to go there, as if the kid did not make it, and if the relatives recognized Jay, then he would have a torrid time, and the police would have to take action, if a complaint was registered.

In ordinary day to day life, Jay wouldn’t have bribed anyone, or wouldn’t have been subject to all the bull shit he was being handled to, but today wasn’t any other day. First thing he did was to look out for a cab. The rain was getting him fully drenched, but he was determined. He kept walking until he was able to coax a cabbie to take him to that hospital for some extra freebies.

As soon as he reached there, he ran into the reception area. He was met with a sleepy receptionist. She looked at him visibly irritated to have been woken up, from her deep slumber. Anyways she did tell him, about the kid. He managed to rush to the Ward, and saw the kid through the peep hole of ICU. He spoke to the Doctor in charge, who told him, that his condition was critical and his parents had just left in search of O negative blood. The blood bank did not have it. And the kid urgently needed blood.
For the first time in the day, he felt God had finally listened to his prayers. He was glad when he heard O negative. What a coincidence, the guy lying mangled on the ICU shared his rare blood group. He immediately, told the doctor who quickly made arrangements for the blood transfusion.
Once the blood was taken, the doctor informed him, that an immediate operation was imminent. And since no one else was there, the doctor taking Jay to be a relative, asked to sign against the needed documentation. Jay was in two minds, how could he take such a big decision on some one else’s behalf. But then, time wasn't some thing he had. The innocent kid was lying in the ICU due to him. He had unknowingly made a decision about the kid’s fate, this time he had to make decision knowingly. He signed against all the documents required for the emergency operation.

Emotionally and physically exhausted, Jay retraced his steps to the entrance, where he collapsed on the wooden bench. Instinctively he reached out for his cigarette packet and lighted one.

Suddenly he remembered, that Neha might be getting worried, since it has been quite late and his cell phone is switched off. He went to the receptionist, and requested her if she would allow him to make a call. She pointed him out to the twenty four hour PCO, in the adjoining Medical Shop. He went there, and called Neha. It wasn’t the time to explain over to her, everything. But at the same time, he had to tell her that everything was fine.

He waited with bated breath as the phone kept on ringing. Just when he thought the phone would go unanswered he heard the sweet voice of his loving wife. Before she could say anything, he told her that he was stuck in office due to some important work and wont be returning home tonight. He told her, “You take care and good night” and hung up.

For a moment she was shocked, because she had called his office, when she couldn’t reach his cell phone and his secretary had informed her Jay hadn’t come to office at all. She rang all his colleagues she knew and none of them had any information regarding the whereabouts of Jay. She was quite worried, and given the weather and the circumstances anyone would be worried. She had just locked the flat, to talk to their neighbours and seek their help, when she heard the first ring. The clattering of the rain drops against the roof, muffled the voice, so she made herself sure that it was indeed her phone that was ringing. Then she opened the door, and was reassured to hear his voice.

She knew he was lying, but she did not know why? Was he having an affair with some one else? Was he in some trouble? All these things raced in her turbulent mind. Then she saw the number displayed, in caller id. She called back to the number and when the medical shop owner answered the phone, she got a jolt.

Jay was lighting his third cigarette in a row, when a nurse told him that the doctor was summoning him. He threw the half lit cigarette and ran through the steps, two at a time. He was met, by the doctor’s reassuring smile. He informed Jay that the worst was over; the kid was out of danger. But he needed to be kept under observation for another forty eight hours. He did not know what came to him; he bear hugged the doctor and started crying inconsolably. The doctor patted him and told him that there was nothing to worry now.

The parents of the kid arrived and before they could ask anything, the doctor told them that this man, pointing towards Jay, had given their son the much needed bottle of blood and that the operation was successful and the apple of their eye was out of danger.. The parents of the kid, who hadn’t seen Jay, when their son was hit, looked at him with eyes full of gratitude.

He felt even guiltier, with folded hands he told them, he was the errant rash driver who had caused them so much harm and that they were free to do what they wanted to him. The parents emotional themselves, chose to forgive the man in tears appealing to them, begging them to punish him. They were moved to tears themselves.
Jay paid all the bills and volunteered to shift him to a better hospital, but the parents, did not want all that. They were happy that Jay had taken so much pain, to come and ensure that the kid was safe. And all said and done, he had given their son the much needed bottle of blood.

Jay was fully exhausted by then, he took their leave and sprinting through the steps down, to rush back home, he saw Neha, enquring about him to the receptionist.

As Jay sat in the car, he knew the next few days he would have lot of explaining to do. But then he wasn’t complaining. All the time since the accident the only one thing he had prayed was that the kid should be safe. Someone else shouldn’t be paying for his mistakes, and he was happy that his prayer was listened to.

But as Neha spurred the engine to life, he knew night had just begun………

Heart Broken!!

2007-12-10T17:06:00.000+05:30

"Dolly, Come here you bitch" he summoned.

And there she came and sat next to him. Was she hurt, angst, saddened one couldnt say from her body language. Nevertheless she sat next to him. Looked into the eyes she had fallen in love with 3 yrs back. Those green eyes, clear, unambiguous, passionate, inquisitive. She still felt the warmth as he placed his hand over her head and patted her. She couldnt speak, for nothing she would say would make sense to him. It never did.
She thought about the 3 yrs they had spent together in that one bedroom house of his, in the ever busy, posh locale of South Delhi. She was brought up by some ppl whom she knew not, in the outskirts of the city. She dint know who her parents were and also if she had any siblings. She dint have any property or asset which would attract her kith and kin towards her. She had resigned herself to this life of hers. But then those days she was too young and may be a shade ignorant and immature to understand all this. Then one day, he came, they met, and it was love @ first sight. He had never told her, what he liked in her,and she never bothered to know also. But she fell for his green eyes. And then they allowed her to go with him. She wouldnt deny that she was apprehensive of going to some strange place with a complete stranger. But somehow those eyes of his calmed her nerves. They seemed to be telling her that she would be in good stead. There was love and care in those eyes. And ever since she was with him in this flat.
He was too good to be true and there wasnt one day when she failed to thank her stars and the GOD up above. They did everything together. He took her with him for his morning walks, she would cuddle up to him, as he read the news paper or watched the idiot box. Initially he was always with her. He used to take her out on long drives and used to be protective about her took great care of her.
Then all of a sudden, he started being away from the house for long hours during the day. He never explained anything to her. He never felt it was necessary. Or may be she wasnt worth it. She thought it was a temporary phenomenon, as he then happened to spend couple of days at home and he was his old caring self. But just when she thought the worst was over, he again continued this. He would come late at nights. Obviously tired, wouldnt have dinner, wouldnt bother to know if she has had hers. Would plomp himself on the bed deep asleep. He was upto something. Was he in trouble, did he require any help she often wondered? But she had never questioned anyone in her life, and how could she question him, her love , her saviour, her master? She accepted that as the routine, she had learnt to accept things in her life. She couldnt obviously deny the fact that she was hurt.
Then things changed for the worse, he came one day, with another girl. She hated to admit it, but the girl was stunningly sexy and he seemed to be all over her. She was deeply hurt. She did not eat anything that night. She cried quitely sitting on the couch where she used to cuddle up to him,as if they were the only two souls gracing Mother Earth.
Dolly watched as she sat next to him, arms in arms,quite oblivious of her presence, doing the same thing she used to do. She said nothing. She knew not what to do. Much to her chagrin, the girls' visits became regular. Dolly assumed this was what that was keeping him away from her. But just when she used to think that he liked her no more. He used to treat her well. She came to the conclusion, when the other girl wasnt there he was with her as before, but then when she was there, he completely forgot her. He behaved as if she never existed.
Her chain of thought was disturbed by the sudden creaking of the entrance door.She looked up and looked at him. "Dolly" he called her, the door of his house open. She stood her ground, she had gone through all this without complaining even once, but this was something she couldnt accept. She tried all that she could, she wagged her tail, licked his feet yet nothing could change his mind. She couldnt come to terms to the fact that she would now no more stay in the house, which she had thought was her home but instead would have to stay in a miniature house which was queerly named "KENNEL".

Grow Up!!!!!

2006-11-03T17:52:00.001+05:30

"Beep" "beep" went my mobile; I took it out expecting a sms from a friend, to my surprise it was from my bank informing me that my account has been credited with my salary. My first pay cheque!!!! Well I can't express how I felt in words. But my face creased into a smile, finally I was adding to the GDP.
I went into flashback mode, as a child how much I had yearned for this day. What was the major difference between then and now except the pay cheque, the profile and the so called pseudo-maturity? Innocence! Innocence is what separates a child and man, you may say that as we grow we mature, yes we do but at the cost of innocence. I’m not saying that innocence ceases to exist but it is overshadowed and pushed into the darkest corner of our heart.
Well looking back I can definitely say I would want to remain a child throughout my life and why not, living without a care in the world; no job pressures, no peer pressure, no rivalry, no impression management, no false prestige, no targets, no deadlines to meet, no bugs to fix.
Well but as a child do we realise the importance of what we are having? No. All we want to do grow up, and do things that we see our parents/elders doing. We may not have the latest gadgets, we may lack the financial independence, no one may take us seriously, but who cares? There is one thing that every child hates, the sentence, “You are a kid now, when you grow up you can do it “, and that brings in him the yearning to grow up and taste the forbidden fruit.
After childhood comes adolescence where hormonal changes pre empts us to be rebellious and defiant. I can say for sure we hate everything people tell us then, it is the stage when we think ourselves as elders, know alls, and our biggest enemies become our own parents. The common statement used then is “I know it I’m grown up, don’t treat me as a child”
At every step during our growing up phase we don’t want ourselves to be labeled “childish” coz we tend to associate the terms responsibility, maturity, level headedness, seriousness to this terminology. So if you are termed as a child it means you are immature and lack emotional balance and not serious about anything. But we lose out on the fun and care free life we used to have. One may argue that, we still enjoy our lives, hang out with friends play games on our computer, we do chill out. Or that I’m waning away from responsibilities that have come my way. I do agree we do chill out; we do play snooker, pool or a game of bowling or match our wits against the system with the latest Playstation2 or XBOX 360. But seriously does it give u the thrill of playing cricket, with your childhood friends, or playing football in the rain, or a game as simple as hide and seek.
Well one might think what this has got to do with my first salary. Perhaps nothing, just the fears that in my pursuit to be what I’m have I left behind the real me some where? Have I crossed the river of oblivion in my path to where I’m today? When I look back is it all void that I see.
Alas there isn’t much time to sit and ponder, I have deadlines to meet, after all this is what I chose to be what I wanted to be, so why complain???